I am not the world’s best listener. At least not in any traditional sense of the word. I have a “busy” personality. I don’t sit still. I think fast. I multitask. I have ADHD and although I am medicated for it, my impulses still trend toward movement. All of that said, I do tend to hear people, but it doesn’t always look that way.
Once, a dear friend, who also is a teacher at my school said, “Rita. When I am talking to you, please stop what you’re doing, put your hands in your lap, look at me, and keep still.” That specific suggestion helped. A lot. It spurred me to really reflect on how I can be a better listener. My goal became, “Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.” The action step for the goal stated that I would, “Solicit one story a week from someone and stop and listen.” That goal is posted on the wall adjacent to my bed and it is the first thing I read each morning (see photo.) But, man-on-man, I still need work.
Shane Safir’s book, The Listening Leader, was clearly a book I needed to read. Of course, the idea of Listening Leadership is way more complex than my personal goal, but, it speaks to me about the goal nevertheless.
This summer, I plan to reflect on many aspects of the book. Today, I want to hone in on just the information in the Introduction, and specifically, my learning in relation to what Safir calls a Listening Mindset (p. xxviii).
A Listening Mindset
Drawing on Carol Dweck’s groundbreaking growth-mindset research, Safir contrasts a listening mindset from a telling mindset in a chart, which I summarize below. The question for me is, do I have a listening mindset or a telling mindset?
| Listening Mindset | Telling Mindset |
| – Slower – More mindful – Shared leadership – Process-focused – Open to input | – Fast – “Efficiency”-based – Outcome-focused – Authoritative – Expert-based |
When I look at the chart, it is with an eye toward thinking about where I fall, how many checkmarks on this side and that side. Honestly? It’s about half and half. I am fast without a shadow of a doubt. But, even in that speed, I actively solicit feedback, input, and am very much about shared leadership and process. So, yeah, I’m on the listening spectrum…
A Question for My Team
Remember the teacher, I mentioned above? The one who gave me the strategy for listening to her? She offered me some different feedback last December. Every once in a while, I post something like the following on my Facebook feed:
Do you want to know what I like about you? Comment with a heart icon below and I’ll tell you!
Last time, I shared personalized “love notes” of sorts to the almost 100 people who posted a heart. My friend sent me a private message that read, “Wow. I guess you do listen.” The point? No. I don’t listen like a “normal” person. But, yes. I do listen. The question? Is that enough?
This was my first year as a principal and I feel pretty good about the work I did. Read my reflections here. I frequently survey my teams (teachers, paras, students, families, etc) and use their feedback to help provide me guidance in my role. Next fall, I plan to include the following questions.
- Do you feel that I listen to you? (I will use a scale for this one.)
- How could I be a better listener for you? (I will use an open-response format for this one.)
I am excited to see what folks have to say.
